Why me?

I am 14 years old and live in a little own outside of Constantinople. My mother is ill and my father well he is getting older. I have no other siblings because my mother has been ill for some time now. I do wish that i had someone to spend time with now and then but the chores and taking care of my mother keeps me busy. Being a peasant I live in a little house/hut and have a farm. My best friend is a horse, Hydia, that I got for my 6th birthday. But I have one secret that is haunting me and that no one can find out. You see there is this knight who we work for and he isn't married but is looking for a wife but being the daughter of a peasant I cannot see him. Ever sense I can remember I have been interested in him, His long blond hair and deep voice that draws you in. well anyways some times I ride up to the top of the hill behind my house and watch as he practices sword fighting and jousting. He's so graceful but he won't even look my way because well "it just isn't done" but I believe different I mean how are you to not be a peasant and be someone of class if all you can marry into is your own class. It doesn't make sense and it isn't fair but as my father says life isn't fair.

It is getting so tense here the Huns are really becoming a problem today Charles had to go off and fight on the northern providence. I am hearing more and more people talk about how they think that we aren't going to make it and how we're going to be over run. I hope not i can only pray that are people stay strong. I took a ride to the city today and it looked awful with almost every man gone there is no one to tend the market place it looked like an abandoned camp site with the only customers being the mice and rats. There was no chatter or business it was so quiet I could hear Hydia's hoofs echo down the street. My only thought are with Charles and that he makes it home soon. After all he must keep searching for that bride.